I started to write a post about TV Commercials, this one in particular for Coors Original cracks my $hit up. The commercial shows all these “American” white men doing “American” activities while a song (that must be sung by Bob Seger’s half-brother) that goes something like “Changing, Everything’s Changing. I’m not gonna go changing” plays in the background. Genius! Why wasn’t this Bush’s theme song for re-election?? Anyway, I googled to find the lyrics to this ridiculous song and found that someone had beaten me to the punch in blogging about it here. Pretty clever little blog, btw.
So, last week a friend of ours came over to see if we wanted him to be our “financial advisor.” We thanked him for trying but weren’t interested, perhaps because we lack the necessary funds required to become interested. Regardless, it made me think about how personal money management is a world with completely ambiguous rules, and this world is governed by my Aquafresh.
Living in Los Angeles, the cost of living is rather absurd. If you meet a friend for drinks, you can easily spend over $100. Or last night for example, dinner with the lady on a Monday night at a place that’s nothing more than a glorified sandwich shop and we dropped $75 like it’s no big deal. However… when it comes to my Aquafresh, I’m like King Kong, scaling a skyscraper with Ann Darrow in my clutch.
So what’s the deal? It’s a $4 tube of toothpaste, I’ve squeezed a good 90-100 uses out of it over the past month or two. So I do the math and I’m looking at about 4 cents per use to keep my teeth from falling out. Deal of the century. I’d be willing to pay five or ten times that amount to keep a handle on these pearly off-whites. So how can I carelessly drop $100 on afterwork drinks yet refuse to toss my Aquafresh until I have absolutely squeezed the life out of it, and totally exercised all four toothpaste maximizing techniques:
1) Back to Front Push Maneuver
2) Fold Tube in Half Maneuver
3) Curl and Fold from Back to Front Maneuver
4) Curl and Fold from Back to Front and then Apply Pressure with the Butt of Your Palm or Your Foot or Any Other Heavy Object You Can Find in the Bathroom Maneuver
This bizarre ritual is just one small example of the type of inconsistencies we face (and create) on a daily basis as we attempt to manage our personal finances. Perhaps it’s because the tube of toothpaste is completely within our control and we can ultimately determine how long we hold onto that tube and how far we push its capacity. Or perhaps we’re not our true selves when we’re out at a bar or a restaurant, and it’s only when we’re all alone in our bathrooms, staring at our tired faces in the mirror that we can be the tight-wad people we always knew we were deep down. Who knows?
But what I do know is that when it gets to the end of my Aquafresh, I always giggle at this habitual oddity. And I’m reminded of how I should probably treat more of my financial “scenarios” in this same manner. Ah, but life’s too short, you might as well sit back, enjoy it and order up another $15 gin and tonic…