Here I am, now several months into my first blog, and I still don’t really know the rules of blogging. Perhaps that’s the secret - there are no rules. Or maybe we just don’t need them. My relationship to this blog is no different than that of an eager Doc Brown peering deeply into Marty’s eyes: “Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.” Therefore,
Doc Brown : Marty McFly :: Me : This Blog
That being said, if you have a dreadfully monotonous job that takes place in a stale office building, like me, then let me explain a little game that can help to keep things interesting.
Okay, to play this game you’ll need the following items:
-Crappy Job
-An elevator
-Condoms
Okay, you don’t really need condoms. The game goes as follows:
STEP 1:
Next time you’re riding in an elevator, whether it be in your office building, a shopping mall or wherever else, don’t just stand there. No. Instead, visualize your next street-fighting opponent. Imagine you’re some type of martial arts guru ready to ‘lay the hurt’ on the next person who enters the elevator. Think about your plan of attack: a punch to the face? Perhaps you’re more of a round house kind of person, or even a knee to the gut or groin. The world’s completely your oyster, so be creative. Once you’ve visualized your attack maneuver, you’re ready to move on to step 2.
STEP 2:
Wait for the elevator doors to open and reveal to you who you’ll be fighting. Factor in the person’s age, sex, build and weight and visualize how well (or poor) your fighting strategy might have worked out. For example, if it’s an elderly woman and you had planned a spin kick to the chest, then odds are you would’ve been victorious in your fight.
Step 3:
After the person has picked their standing spot in the elevator, give him or her a confident, knowing nod; a nod that says “I could have crushed you today, but since I’m such a nice person, I decided to let you go on living to fight another day.”
Step 4:
Take a defensive stance, re-focus and await your next opponent.